


an unconventional way to save your soul

by babydeathclaw



Series: another world [1]
Category: B: The Beginning (Anime)
Genre: M/M, The most fucked up murder clown family on god's green earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 02:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14299158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydeathclaw/pseuds/babydeathclaw
Summary: What was supposed to happen, didn't. The scripture incomplete, Gilbert Ross goads Phantom Minatsuki into killing the real one. Things go just wrong enough that they might turn out okay.Or: The fix-it AU for the Reggies that literally no one asked for.





	1. Imago, Incomplete

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I am 1) obsessed with this anime and 2) obsessed with Phantom Minatsuki 3) obsessed with all the Reggies 4) have been working on this fic for weeks but been bogged down by the writing I have to do to complete my BFA. 
> 
> This may or may not be the angsty lead up for a domestic AU.

Izanami’s head rolled against the armrest of the couch. Minatsuki put two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up, looking her in the eyes.

“Yuna has been taken,” he said quietly. “Another failure.”

She’d been sleeping moments before but now she caught him in an intense stare. A smile cracked on her lips, and she reached up to touch his cheek as well.

“Sorry to disappoint,” she said. “But at least it wasn’t my fault, this time.” 

Something at the edges of his mind cracked and growled its approval. It made him hungry. For a brief moment he entertained the thought of wrapping his hands around her neck and wringing until the world righted itself again. 

He should be taking his dose. His head was getting that swimming feeling it got when he was near that time. They never really talked about it amongst themselves - he wondered if it was the same for the others. If they also felt like there was something, someone outside there, lurking. Asking a question he couldn’t quite hear. It put him on edge.

Already the inscription had been broken. The girl on the couch was not supposed to have survived, but he didn’t know what to do - if he should say something. The twins had been there when they’d collected her, their careful, young eyes watching his every move. He’d been tempted to finish the job himself, but that would rearrange the whole mess. That would put him in a different place in this story.

“I’m jealous of her,” Izanami said. “Her light shines on.”

Minatsuki grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look up at him. Slapping her would’ve been easy, and perhaps too revealing; instead he looked her in the eyes, fingers digging into her cheeks. He hated the way she looked at him, like the way you’d look at a dying dog you didn’t much care for right before you put it down. Pity and power. 

His cell phone beeped. He let go of her, but didn’t look away as he picked it up to read the ID. It was Ross. Izanami massaged her neck, but she wouldn’t stop smiling, even though it looked like she might bruise.

“What?” Minatsuki said, bringing the phone to his face. He ran a hand through his hair to push it back from his face. It was heavy and greasy on his scalp. Before he even realized it, he was gnawing at the skin around his thumbnail. He pulled his hand away but started again almost immediately. 

“I take it there was another issue,” Gilbert Ross’s voice was low and calm over the phone. Minatsuki could hear him typing on his computer as he spoke.

“We’re dealing with it,” Minatsuki replied abruptly. “And I don’t see how it’s any of your concern. This is my-”

“It is overwhelmingly my concern.” Ross replied. “I am very much invested in Minatsuki’s goal in regards to his brother.”

Minatsuki stopped his chewing. “I’m speaking to you.”

“Are you though?” Ross replied, the same casual tone to his voice. “Have you taken your dose today, by the way?” 

Minatsuki pulled the phone just barely away from his ear. Izanami was watching him with dark, hungry eyes. She looked vindicated.

“Laica-”

“Is distributing them, isn’t he? Good man. Say, have you ever seen him take his dose?” Ross’s tongue clicked over the phone, hot and heavy in Minatsuki’s ear. “We don’t want anyone to lose control.”

Minatsuki turned away. He couldn’t stand the dark, self-satisfied look Izanami was growing on her face. 

“Do you ever wonder if he has dreams like yours?” Ross said. His voice caressed the curve of Minatsuki’s ear. He’d never felt so filthy.

“You speak too much,” Minatsuki said. “You are dealing with things that have no connection to you. This is beyond what you know.”

“I think you’d be amazed to find out what I know of your condition,” Ross said. “Perhaps more than you do.”

For the first time Minatsuki kept his mouth shut. He brought his thumb back to his lips, chewing lightly, if only to give himself time to think.

It occurred to him then that he’d never liked Ross. It was always there, at the back of his mind, like an uncomfortable headache you couldn’t exactly pinpoint. But for some reason it was never something he could think about, like the words caught in his throat or his mind went elsewhere while he was thinking it. 

“I met you all so young, you know,” Ross continued. “You’d all barely formed into who you’d eventually be. It’s been interesting watching you take shape. You especially, my friend. You see, while shaping Minatsuki, I indirectly shaped you - and I didn’t need a god’s eye to do it.”

“Stop talking about me like that,” Minatsuki barked. He ripped his thumb away from his mouth, tearing the skin and making his nail bleed. 

“Talking about you how, my friend?” Ross replied. “Do you not like that? Does it remind you too much of the edges of your consciousness, that creep up on you when you’re close to your dose, when you’re desperate? Do you try to ignore it, ever, or is it too enticing, does it lead you on into a more intriguing world -”

“Stop this!”

“I never considered myself a parent until I realized parenting is just about shaping a person into what you want them to be. And Minatsuki - he was so susceptible to that, so desperate for a place other than as his brother’s other. And can you blame him? I suppose he’s shared with you all of that, his pain, his truth. What he sees of himself in the inscription. But how is that at all fair to you? You were just a boy when he chose you to share that burden. It’s all tragic, really. Tragic and beautiful.” 

Minatsuki gnawed at his finger, ripping off bits of nail and skin and spitting them out, wiping them off his lips. He was really bleeding now. He tried to hang on to every word, but it was like the part of him that kept calm, that knew what he had to do to reach his bro- his - to reach Koku, was pushing it down, not letting him process what was being said. His breath came out ragged.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” said Minatsuki. But there was something else, some wildness, that yes - hung on the edges of his vision, just behind his ear, and he was really craving the serum now. He needed it. Whatever gnashed its jaws under the surface was begging for it. 

“You don’t have to,” Ross said softly. “I'm just an old man, reflecting on what has been. What could have been. You know she should have died. You know what needs to happen in order for Minatsuki to kill Koku.” Minatsuki turned and looked at Izanami, who was still watching him, still looking so damn pleased with herself. It was just another unnerving assault he didn’t need. 

“Perhaps it makes sense that history has not gone the way we were told,” Ross continued. “If you weren’t even the person it was supposed to happen to, to begin with.” 

The growling, gnashing thing on the outside of his consciousness breached. It felt kind of like it did when he went too long without a dose, though he tried so hard to ignore it - though there was a part of him who tried so hard - and he was fragmented, spiralling, sticking his hand out to prop himself up against the wall.

“Who-”

“Think. Think about it. Who slips by unseen. Who needs to do the least to accomplish the most. Who feels a half breath away from you at all times.” Ross sounded almost bored. As if he expected more.

Minatsuki breathed out quietly.

“ _ Laica.” _

“That would be how you know him, yes. I wonder if he’ll want his name back when you’re no longer useful to us?”

For the first time, the growl that ripped through Minatsuki’s throat felt his own. The shattered walls inside of him couldn’t hold it out any longer. For the first time, possibly ever, he felt a rush of anger that was so authentically his. He didn’t realize how muted his body had been. How on fire  _ being  _ could be.

He spun around and launched the cell phone across the room, shattering it on the opposing wall. Izanami let out a delighted laugh, her smile painfully splitting her face in two.

**

In his office, Gilbert Ross let the phone fall from his hands. For just a moment, he let his whole body tense with the exhaustion of the past few days. Then he sighed a big sigh, relieving himself of it all - it was done. Progress would continue, even if it was not happening the way he originally intended it to.

In his mind’s eye he could see the wild-eyed, blond Reggie, confused and pained and lethal. He had faith in this one. Market Maker would not let him down a third time. 

**

He found Laica in the ship’s lounge. It was always dark in there; the only light coming in through the windows, and they kept up so high that that was barely any light at all. Laica was sitting cross legged with a drink in front of him, his back pin straight. He didn’t look up when Minatsuki came in.

“Sorry,” Laica said softly. “I took some of your whiskey. I hoped you wouldn’t mind.” 

For a moment Minatsuki felt himself washed over with blind, pure hatred. It wasn’t that Laica had taken what was his - it was that Laica didn’t even care. Minatsuki reached up and touched his right eye, breathing in, and out, and in, and out. He thought of Koku. He tried to conjure up the same calm rage he felt towards his - his? - brother, but there was nothing there. Instead he could only think of Laica, and wonder what he thought of the black-winged king. 

His thoughts wouldn’t stay in one place, though. He wanted to tear through the room like a screaming child, to tackle Laica and hold him to the floor; but his muscles and body had aged, and he tried to think of what Minatsuki would know how to do. He tried to mend the parts of himself together long enough to kill the person who’d done this to him. 

Laica pushed himself to his feet. He turned around and pulled his glasses off. Minatsuki hated the way he was being looked at; with so much worry and concern that seemed so selfish, now. Minatsuki walked up to Laica and grabbed him by the chin. Laica’s eyes went wide and he dropped his sunglasses. Minatsuki took great pleasure in crushing them under his heel. 

“Tell me your name,” Minatsuki growled. It felt like he was using his voice for the first time. This anger - this - this need to know - it was liberating. He felt drunk on it.

Laica’s hand flew up to his wrist. He grabbed on but didn’t pull away. Minatsuki thought he could see a flicker in the other man’s eye; just a spark. It was damning. 

“Laica,” he said, with a voice to placate. Minatsuki dug his fingers into the soft skin of his neck. 

“Tell me my name,” he said. 

“Minatsuki.” Laica didn’t even look afraid. Minatsuki punched him in the face. 

Laica swore loudly. It was the first time Minatsuki had seen him lose his cool - he broke free of Minatsuki’s grip, staggering backwards and holding his nose where he’d been hit.

When Laica looked back up at him, something had changed. His face lost its calm in favourite of something uglier, more pained. It occured to Minatsuki that if what Gilbert Ross had told him was true - he couldn’t imagine how Laica had felt through all this. Watching them fail. 

“I don’t remember your name,” he hissed. Minatsuki stopped and watched Laica straighten himself up, face twisted into an ugly scowl. “Does that make you happy? I don’t think I ever knew it to begin with. You were  _ nothing  _ to me.”

Minatsuki threw himself at Laica with a yell. But he was angry, unbalanced. Laica dodged and caught Minatsuki by the side of his knee.

“How’d you figure it out?” Laica hissed as Minatsuki stumbled and fell. He was on him in an instant - grabbing Minatsuki by the shoulders and throwing him against the wall. “I won’t say I’m unsurprised. Everything’s gone so wrong recently I keep wondering how it hasn’t all come crashing down. But no matter. If I need to do things myself, then I will.”

Minatsuki stumbled away, unsure of what to do now that Laica was coming for  _ him.  _ It wasn’t that he didn’t think he could kill Laica - it was that he didn’t know what would happen when he did. 

“Gilbert Ross,” Minatsuki replied, keeping his distance. 

“He told you?” 

“He said you might want your name back,” Minatsuki replied. Laica stopped his approach, looking Minatsuki up and down. 

“It was he who suggested using you, originally,” Laica said. “He taught me a lot.”

“I’m sure,” Minatsuki replied. “He sounded very proud of himself.”

“I’m sure he did.” Laica said.

“He said he was as much responsible for me as you were,” Minatsuki continued. There was a flash of anger in Laica’s eyes, and Minatsuki jumped back again before the next hit came.

“You were always temporary,” Laica continued. “Gilbert was right. Maybe that’s why he sent you here, to me. Maybe he knows more than he lets on,” Laica tilted his head. “I wonder if he’s trying to fix the way things have gone.” 

“He’s free to play as many games as he wants,” Minatsuki replied quietly. “But I’m not going to be a part of them anymore.”

Laica snorted. He went for Minatsuki, and Minatsuki grabbed his wrists, preventing himself from being grabbed. Laica pressed forward until Minatsuki was against the wall. 

“When I turned you,” Laica asked him. “You were this pathetic little thing. Always crying. You cried when I made you my own, too - that was the first thing I got rid of. I hate crybabies. But you were so scared it made you easy to control.” His eye flashed a little blue, and Minatsuki felt something in his chest tighten. He could remember, almost - the burning, the smell of it, and a little boy with Laica’s face and a really horrid grin. “Gilbert always said the stronger the emotion, the easier it was to manipulate.”

“You must  _ really  _ love him, if he taught you so much,” Minatsuki said through gritted teeth. 

“He’s just a human,” Laica said, dismissive, but the muscles in his jaw twitched, and he glanced around the room, as if checking to see if Ross was there. 

“It sounds like he’s just as responsible for shaping us as you are,” Minatsuki replied. To his surprise, that stopped Laica completely. It was like his entire body language changed - while he’d previously been relaxed, collected, he was now tense and angry, his jaw clenched and hands in fists. 

For a brief moment Minatsuki wondered if this was something Laica had ever thought about. Worried about. Did it scare him that someone could have control over him, in the same way he had over Minatsuki? 

He didn’t have much time to think, though. Laica seemed to have come to his decision, and he lunged at Minatsuki. 

Minatsuki found it funny how telling it was that Laica missed. He must’ve been more upset than either of them could imagine - the childish voice inside Minatsuki cheered, and as he dodged out of Laica’s arms, he struck back, catching him on the side of the head and sending him stumbling. It was enough. Minatsuki launched himself onto Laica, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into the air. 

Laica struggled, but only a little. Minatsuki tightened his grip, and felt relief wash through his long limbs. The words  _ it was over  _ came to mind. He would survive this. He’d be reborn. 

It was funny how his rage could feel so much his own - the most his own he'd ever felt - and yet when he wrapped his hands around the real Minatsuki’s neck it felt wrong. Suddenly all he could think were Gilbert’s words -  _ I wonder if he’ll want his name back. You weren't even the person this is supposed to happen to, to begin with. _

For a split second Laica’s back arched and his neck pressed into Minatsuki’s touch. His neck was pale and the way it formed against his fingers made Minatsuki stop, his heartbeat drowning out the phonecall that was replaying in his head. 

Minatsuki shook his head as if to clear it. This was wrong. He didn't want anyone else but him in his head right now - not when he was taking everything back, not when he had this chance to finally become himself. Gilbert didn’t get to own that. Neither did Laica. 

He squeezed his fingers tighter. 

He felt Laica’s fingers on his wrists, trying to pry him off, as if trying to rip his bones apart. His eyes bulged out of their sockets, watering, his lips gulping like a fish looking for water.

_ Pathetic.  _ Minatsuki thought. And the thought was his own.  _ I almost feel sorry for him.  _

The thought made him angry. He didn’t owe this man - this poorly composed version of a man - anything. Not his service and definitely not his pity. When he thought about how much he’d given - when he searched into his head to find something that was truly himself and all he could find was this tiny  _ boy  _ confused and afraid and thinking he’d  _ die -  _ No. Laica or Minatsuki or  _ whatever  _ wasn’t owed his pity. He barely had any to begin with.

But for some reason when he tried to squeeze tighter he found he couldn’t, and it wasn’t any outside force that was pushing against him. Just himself. Just something inside himself that slowly relaxed his fingers and dropped Laica down in front of him. Laica gasped and clutched at his throat, his fingers scraping across the raw bruises that would be there for too long. Minatsuki took a step back and let out his own breath. It shook in his chest and throat.

_ Why can’t I kill him?  _ Inside his own head, his voice sounded so young. So afraid. He tried to think of the boy he’d been when Laica took him and moulded him as his own. That was the boy he felt sorry for. Laica’s childish face swam in front of him but he felt no anger, only fear. Just fear and an exhaustion that had carried heavy in his bones all this time.

“I’m leaving,” he said, because speaking truth to it felt good. It helped with the way his throat constricted but it wouldn’t make it any easier to keep the tears back. Why was he crying? “You can’t come for me. You won’t. You won’t or I swear on my life I will rip you apart and feed you to crows.  _ You leave me alone. _ ”

Laica was still, kneeling on the floor. Minatsuki took a step back but the other man didn’t move. He swallowed, edging closer to the door. He felt cornered, but he was so close -

He nearly screamed when a gentle hand caressed his back. He spun around, and Izanami stood in front of him, her face red from where her face paint had been scrubbed clean off.

“I arranged for a car,” she said. 

“What?” His voice grated on his throat and squeaked in his ears.

“I’m leaving with you, you idiot,” she said. “I mean, I messed up here anyway. Big time. By not dying.” It was the most casual he’d ever heard her speak. She sounded so relaxed. Her jacket was wrapped loosely over her shoulders. She looked tired but - happy. Almost happy. 

“You gotta let me pack, though.” Izanami took his arm and started pulling him gently away. He was lead easily. He didn’t like being lead but it did feel better than staying in that room.

Just before they left, he looked behind him, casting one more glance at Laica on the floor. He wasn’t grabbing his throat anymore, but he was staring at them - one eye a brilliant blue, a green iris flanked between two red dots. He didn’t move to stop them, but Minatsuki didn’t let go of his breath, not even when the door shut behind them.

Suddenly the hum of the ship was too much, and he started to claw at his chest - his fingers caught in his tie and he ripped it off, flinging it to the floor. He crouched down and ran his fingers through his hair, listening to the engines reverberating somewhere beneath their feet. He felt a small hand on his back, and Izanami carefully rubbing as if to soothe him.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “It’s really fucked up. I know. It isn’t your fault.”

Minatsuki felt like his whole core was shaking along with the hum of the ship. He took a couple more breaths, desperate to feel grounded, to feel normal.  _ What if I feel like this forever. What if this is what I’m actually like. _

“When did you realize?” He asked, desperate for something to concentrate on that wasn’t the inside of his own head.

“Realize?”

“That we were being played.”

“When I woke up half-submerged and realized Koku didn’t kill me,” she replied. “I almost hated him for it. I wanted to run after him and scream that he’d fucked up, he was a shitty king, but then I realized what’s the point of going through with it if you have a shitty king?” She kept rubbing his back, but her hand went to his elbow to slowly guide him to a stand. “I’ve had a bit more time to think about it than you,” she said quietly. “And I’m impressed how quickly you acted.”

“Gilbert Ross,” Minatsuki replied. “He told me to.”

There was a silence that opened up like a fresh wound between them. Izanami didn’t withdraw her touch, but she did go very quiet. She glanced back at the room where they’d left Laica. 

“Let’s go,” she said quietly. He nodded, feeling achy and numb. 

They were quiet for the most part, slowly travelling towards the control room. Izanami took the lead, keeping just the gentlest touch on his elbow as if to prevent him from wandering off. 

“If you want, I’ll set us on a course to lower down and then we can go grab some things,” she said as he unlocked the door with shaky hands.

Minatsuki nodded slightly. He wasn’t even sure what he’d take. Clothes maybe? It seemed so unimportant. And some part of him didn’t care to bring anything else - he wanted to leave it all here. He wanted the airship to crash with everything on it.

“Does it always feel like this?” He said, rubbing his arms as if he were cold. Izanami bent over the computer, plotting them an easy yet prompt descent and then takeoff - just enough for the two of them to leave. 

“Like what?” She asked, but then she glanced at him, and he could see this flash of - pity? Sadness? 

“Sometimes,” she replied, turning back to her work. “Sometimes it gets easier, and it feels like you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes it’s worse.”

That didn’t do much to comfort him, but there was nothing he could do now.

“All done,” she announced, hitting enter and setting their descent in motion. Then she turned and took him again by the arm, but he gently shrugged her off.

“I’m fine, I think,” he said quietly. “Let’s go. I’ll come with you to get anything.”

“Don’t you want to pack?”

“I have nothing to bring.”

“At least bring some underwear. Jesus,” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic that you’re gross.” 

Minatsuki was confused, but he followed her anyway. 

The door opened before they could get to it. For a split second terror gripped his heart, and he went to lunge in front of Izanami, to make himself the target - but it wasn’t Laica, it was just the twins. Takeru was aiming a shotgun at them.

“What the hell are you two doing,” Kukuri asked. 

“Leaving,” Izanami said flatly. “And don’t point that thing. Did Laica send you?”

“No. I got a notification someone was plotting a new course that hadn’t been approved,” Kukuri said slowly. “Why’re you leaving?”

“It’s a long story,” she said quietly. “And if you don’t know the answer yet, you’re not ready to come.” 

“Excuse me?!” Takeru didn’t lower the gun, but Kukuri advanced, her eye twitching slightly. Minatsuki felt his heart clench. He’d never reacted this way to conflict before. But he didn’t want to fight - he didn’t even care what the outcome would be, almost. He just desperately wanted to leave. 

Takeru was looking at him funny. 

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked. “You look like you’re crying.”

Impulsively Minatsuki reached up and touched his eyes, red and raw from just the few tears that had managed to escape. He swallowed and his dry throat didn’t let him forget that weakness, either.

“I just want to go,” he said. His voice was so soft. 

“Where exactly are you going?” Kukuri pressed on. “Cause we’re not exactly landing inconspicuously - “

“We’re not landing. The ship will take off again once we get off,” Izanami said, at the same time Minatsuki mumbled - “I just need to get out of here.” 

Kukuri squinted.

“You’ve been acting funny since Izanami came back from trying to capture the king,” she said. “And you drink a lot.” 

Izanami snorted. “Give him a break, he’s had a rough day,” she said. But Kukuri was still looking at Minatsuki for answers. 

Minatsuki swallowed. 

“I’m not the black winged king’s brother.”

“What?” 

“Laica is the real Minatsuki,” he replied quietly. “I’m just a puppet he made to help him achieve his goal.”

“When did this happe-”

“I was ten.” He replied. “Maybe younger. You know what? I don’t actually remember.” 

Takeru and Kukuri looked at each other. Speaking words to it made his whole body feel heavy - and he felt heavy enough to push past them, not even caring if Takeru wanted to try and shoot him. 

“Wait,” Kukuri called, still very confused. “Then what’s your real name?!”

He felt like he’d been punched. Anything. He’d answer any question other than that.  

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know  _ anything.”  _

He made the choice to keep walking. 

**

In the end, he really didn’t have much to hold onto. 

Izanami was right though. It’d have been stupid to not bring underwear, so he did. He found an old duffle bag and emptied the contents, dumping equipment all over the floor. He filled it with some underwear, soap, toothpaste - but again, the idea of bringing any other clothes made him feel ill, and he decided he’d manage without. He took two bottles of the nicest gin he had because once he was far away from here he was going to celebrate. He wandered the rooms for a while, searching for anything that could be useful, but not too much of a reminder. In one of the twins’ workshops he picked up a pair of heavy-duty scissors and for a brief minute he entertained the idea of cutting his hair. He even held the strands between the blades, wondering if he could cut off enough that his head would stop feeling so heavy, and he could leave it behind, on this ship, to float back into the sky without him.

Instead he dropped them into his bag. 

The last thing he grabbed was the serum. By that time Izanami and the twins had grabbed whatever they wanted. Izanami looked like a kid on vacation, a backpack slung over her shoulder and a skateboard under her arm. The twins had a bag each and Takeru was holding the shotgun, Kukuri clutching her laptop to her chest. It struck him as funny that he’d never noticed she’d put a sticker on it. It was a bright green frog with a big, gaping mouth.  _ Where’d she get that? _

Kukuri didn’t say a word to him as she bypassed the door code and forced it open. Inside the locked storeroom was their backpile of the serum - bars of gold, too heavy and inconvenient to carry. They had some doses already prepped, in emergency cases, and they grabbed one each. Kukuri looked at the one in her hand like it frightened her. 

“We’re going to need this stuff for the rest of our lives, aren’t we?” She asked. Of course she knew that. Once she and Takeru started needing to take it, they’d never be free. 

Minatsuki didn’t say anything, just picked up a case of his own and pushed past them, outside of the room, looking forward to getting off this ship and into the cold night air.

They’d almost landed by the time they were all done. It was an empty field near a car dealership where their ride would be waiting. They’d have a couple minutes to leave before the ship took off again, but they didn’t need it - all four of them waiting in the unloading bay were anxious, it hummed in them, or maybe that was just cause the engines were so close here. Minatsuki could feel the vibrations in his chest again, and he’d never felt so terrified, or so alive. 

“Are you really leaving, then?”

Laica’s voice cut through the quiet room, splitting the air wide open. Minatsuki hadn’t heard him come in - he must’ve been sitting there, waiting for them in the dark. 

None of them said anything for a while, not until the ship finished landing and the door to the outside slid open. Laica was illuminated in the moonlight. He wasn’t wearing glasses or a hat, and Minatsuki felt something in his chest constrict when he saw the bruises forming on his neck. He looked so naked like this.

“Are you going to stop us?” Minatsuki asked. He felt ready, almost, for whatever was going to happen. If Laica lunged for him, he’d be okay with dying here. It felt better than dying any other way. He had no idea what lay for him when he stepped off that ship; if it was even worth it. He felt like if he died now he’d die the most free he’d ever be. 

Laica didn’t reply. He stepped forward, not taking his eyes off of Minatsuki. 

Izanami put a hand on Minatsuki’s arm again.

“We have to leave,” she said quietly. “Let him be.” 

“I looked it up,” Laica said. “Looked through the old records. There’s no trace of your name anywhere.”

Minatsuki’s breathing stopped. The whole room felt so very still. The engines were still making noise, but it was as if they weren’t working, really - just screaming.

“So, you can keep mine, if you want,” Laica shrugged. It might’ve made him appear calm, disaffected, but the bruises on his neck bloomed too fiercely a reminder. “I don’t need it really, after all.”

It was like a floodgate burst in his chest. He pulled his arm out of Izanami’s grip, covering his mouth with his hand to hold back a sob.  _ Don’t you dare cry. Not here. You don’t need to. _

“Come with us,” he said instead, his whole body shaking. He could hear the engines roaring fiercely, getting ready to leave. Izanami was tugging at him, pulling him backwards, trying to get him off the ship.

“Laica! Please. Come with us,” he half-yelled above the noise. He stumbled down the ramp, still looking backwards. The bottles of gin clinked heavily in his bag. 

Laica hesitated. For a brief moment, Minatsuki felt like he was making a mistake - if Laica came or didn’t, he’d messed up, somehow, like there was a role they were all supposed to be following. 

But there were no more roles. Not for any of them. Just as the door beeped a warning, starting to retract the ramp, Laica took off at a run, leaping away from the ship and to Minatsuki’s side. Minatsuki sank to the ground, looking up at the ship as the ramp closed. It sucked the air out of him as it took off, and for a moment he felt like he would fly too. He didn’t realize he could be this weightless.

The five of them stood there for a long time, long after the winds settled and the ship turned to a blinking light up in the sky. Eventually, though, Minatsuki realized no one was going to help him up. He struggled back to his feet. 

“We got a car?” He asked finally, turning to Izanami. He could feel Laica standing closely beside him, and he felt like every hair on his body was on a fire. But he didn’t look. 

“Just over by the road,” she said, pointing in the direction of the dealership. The whole world looked unfamiliar in the dark, in a way it never had before.

Minatsuki nodded, and turned. Without checking to see who followed, he stepped out across the field. His legs didn’t feel any stronger but he wobbled less with each step.


	2. The Longest Night of Their Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They become strangers and then something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occured to me while writing this I know very little about how the Reggie's bodies work and all that. Do they eat? This fandom is too damn small and nobody's made a comprehensive biological cheat sheet for me to mooch off of. 
> 
> I know there is -14 people in this fandom and no one's gonna read it so I'm kind of like - what's in character? What's a character? Who can say! Facefucking!
> 
> Anyway, this is nothing if not completely self-serving. There is (p vanilla) sex in this chapter.

Laica drove like the empty road behind him could swallow him whole.

It was just before dawn on a Sunday. The road moved like an icing knife along the coast, smoothing a path through the trees with the dark sea to their left. He couldn’t look out there or at the forest either; both were too dark and too big. As he sped down the highway his hands on the steering wheel were rigid with reckless discipline. The tires squealed on every curve.

He felt so empty. 

If you asked him why he’d come off that ship and followed the ghost of a person who’d tried to kill him - it was because the void scared him. Because ever since Minatsuki took back what might very well be rightfully his, he felt a void at his back, edging him on and roaring every time he turned away. It had started to creep up on him after Izanami had failed, but now it was deafening. 

So he ran. Like a coward. Like Minatsuki. 

He hadn’t had time to grab anything. The rest of them had bags, it seemed - Minatsuki had his at his feet. About twenty minutes ago he’d pulled a bottle of gin out of it and started drinking. Three teenagers glared at Laica from the backseat. In the dark, Izanami was taking off her jacket, undoing the buttons on her dress all the way down to her navel, letting her shoulders fall open and bare in the dark. She took the sudden upheaval the easiest, eyeing Laica the whole time and just smiling. Like she knew.

Laica made the mistake of looking in the rear view mirror. He couldn’t take the emptiness of the road behind them, always just on the edge of their tail lights. So he looked away, and his eyes found Kukuri’s in the mirror - her angry, challenging eyes, her tiny hands gripping the shotgun in her lap. Takeru slept on her shoulder, wheezing with every breath. 

Laica turned his gaze back to the road unfurling in front of them. They’d been driving for long enough that the sun was cracking the sky red and purple, turning the ocean the same. 

“Look,” Kukuri said, jostling her twin awake. Takeru blinked wearily, and for a moment the five of them watched the darkness disappear all around them. Laica slowed the car for the first time since they left the capital. He almost wanted to pull over, maybe, to - to breathe the free air, or something. Maybe he’d roll down a window. 

Minatsuki gagged in the passenger seat. With his bottle of gin between his thighs he leaned over and puked all over his shoes.

**

The woman working the front desk of the motel was pissed at their early arrival, but she allowed them to book rooms so they could get Minatsuki cleaned up and so they could sleep. The whole time he was paying she kept eyeing the bruises on Laica’s neck, then glancing at Minatsuki’s puke-covered front, then looking oddly at the three bored teenagers. Kukuri’d tried to rub her and her twin’s makeup off but it still left a smudged residue. The woman’s face went from pissed to confused to slightly horrified. Laica could only imagine what she’d assumed about them.

Laica awkwardly made sure the three youngest could get into their room and then helped shuffle Minatsuki into his own. It occured to Laica then that he felt bone-weary and ready to sleep for about five hundred years, give or take. He had no idea  _ where  _ he’d be sleeping though. The twins kept alternating which one of them was glaring at him, and Izanami was giving him this look like she just  _ knew  _ something. He was worried if he shared a room with Minatsuki he’d want to kill him, but then, he looked at the stumbling Reggie and couldn’t think of a way to go through with it. 

He pulled Minatsuki into the motel room bathroom and set his duffle bag down on the floor. It hadn’t been spared from being covered in Minatsuki’s puke. He did his best to wipe it off with some tissue, and eventually just gave up and used a wet towel. 

“There’s no clothes in here,” Laica said, and Minatsuki shook his head miserably. The only thing inside the bag were some underwear, toothpaste, a hairbrush, and a pair of scissors. 

“I didn’t want to bring any,” Minatsuki said. He looked sad and distant, and Laica was having trouble believing that this was the same man who’d been ready to choke him to death just a couple hours earlier. The whiplash was ridiculous. 

It would be so incredibly easy to take back control, he reasoned. Minatsuki was vulnerable like this. 

But the fact of the matter is he wasn’t sure what good that would do. The emptiness was still there, just dancing on the edges of his vision. And somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear Gilbert Ross’ smooth voice, taking his hand when he was just barely twelve years old and leading him into the future.

Shaping him.

He shook himself vigorously to stop his skin from crawling. He didn’t want to think about that. Instead he did his best to get the rest of the puke off Minatsuki’s bag and then shoved it into the motel room closet, alongside one of the cases of serum. It was safest to split them up between the three of them - that was just logical. 

“Well, you can’t be walking around covered in puke,” Laica said calmly. “I dunno when anything opens around here. But when it does I’ll go buy you some clothes.”

When he turned around, though, Minatsuki was already stripping down to his underwear. He peeled his pants off and let them drop to the floor, pulling each long, slim leg out carefully before stepping onto the bathroom floor. He then methodically popped the buttons on his shirt, one by one, until that fell away as well, revealing a strong chest and a flat stomach. A trail of light blond hair led from his navel down underneath his black briefs. 

“Thank you,” Minatsuki was looking at himself in the mirror, rubbing his arms and shivering ever so slightly. His face looked pale and naked in the shitty lighting. “What time is it?”

“Six thirty,” Laica replied. “I guess I could go see if there’s any food - I think we passed a 24-hour place before getting here. Do you want anything?”

Minatsuki shook his head. Laica chewed on the inside of his lip.

“Have you had your dose yet?” He said. Minatsuki nodded. “Took it in the car.”

“Orally?”

“Yes.”

“You threw up. Take it again.” 

As he was saying it Laica was already walking to their stash. He got out a vial and hesitated, looking from Minatsuki to the serum.

“Do you want to drink it again, or - “

“Yes. I’ll be fine.” Minatsuki held out his hand. Laica hesitated, but handed it over, his fingers brushing the other man’s palm. 

“Are you okay if we leave you?” He said. 

“Laica,” Minatsuki replied quietly. His lips twitched, and Laica for once felt submissive. It was a deliberate naming. “I’ll be fine. You don’t have to take care of me  _ anymore _ .” 

For some reason that stung more than the name. He had to bite his own lip to not  _ remind  _ Minatsuki who had been there - who had always picked up the pieces, made everything run smoothly. Who’d been able to call the shots when Minatsuki couldn’t, and who had sometimes been a confidant, something close to a friend. 

Maybe a lover once, but they didn’t talk about that. Not on those terms. It had never gone beyond chaste touches, but for people like them, even that was electric. 

Minatsuki turned away and tipped the vial down his throat. The bathroom lighting made his whole skin a sickly orange, and for a minute they all looked like a muted, golden film reel. He swallowed and licked his now chapped lips, a glint of gold on his teeth as he did.

They were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Laica was ready for the worst - though he wasn’t sure what  _ the worst  _ counted as anymore. It was only Izanami.

“We’re hungry,” she declared. 

“Okay.”

“Get us money for food.”

Laica stared at her. She seemed so incredibly proud of her demands, and he wasn’t sure how to respond.

He looked back in at Minatsuki. He was rinsing his mouth out in the sink, pulling his lids down to look at the redness of his eyes. He turned back to Izanami.

“Fine.”

**

The diner was mostly empty except for a couple truckers hovering by the counter. The waitress gave Laica and his horde an odd look when they came in, sitting down at the booth, all of them not quite overdressed but still a little odd. Clothes for all of them might be a good idea, he reasoned, if this was where they were heading now. 

“Can we have 50$?” Kukuri asked over breakfast. Laica squinted at her over the dining booth. 

“What for?” 

“To go buy toothpaste, and stuff.”

“Toothpaste.”

“Yeah.” 

Laica peered at her. She’d ordered a full breakfast - eggs and toast and bacon. Her twin was chowing down on some waffles and hash browns, not a proper protein in sight. Izanami was drinking black coffee and reading a newspaper that had been left on the booth seat. It was three days old. 

He calmly pulled his wallet out and peeled off two 20’s and two 5’s, handing them to Kukuri. She shuffled through them as if to count them again and then folded them into the pocket of her shorts.

“Don’t blow it all at once. If you ask for more tomorrow you’re not getting it.” 

Izanami snorted, and Kukuri gave the biggest eye roll he’d ever seen. 

“Thanks,” she replied. “ _ Dad _ .” 

Hm. That was an interesting thought. Something, down there in that void he felt, stirred - and it wasn’t a negative, necessarily, but it was whispering  _ that’s a responsibility you might have to come to terms with.  _ They were all different, here, sitting in a grubby plastic booth and eating off chipped plates. Takeru was licking the grease off their fingers, snorting along with their sister. Were they any less capable than they had been, with Market Maker? No. Of course not. But if they wanted to stay out here - to look for whatever Minatsuki seemed to be reaching for - they had to adapt. Improvise. 

He was unsure of what to do with this clench in his gut, unsure if there was anything to do. 

The waitress swung by, and Laica’s gaze was drawn to the fresh and damp coffee spill on her apron - like she had no spare one and had to hastily mop this one up. She grinned at him earnestly, her eyes crinkling warmly as she refilled their water glasses. He pulled at his collar, but she looked tired and a little dopey-happy, didn’t notice anything odd.

“Family vacation?” She asked, and he wanted to say no, to stand up and shake her, or shake someone, but he felt his gut clench again. 

“...Sure,” he said finally. “And I’ll have another coffee, please.”

**

The thrift store was open from 8-4. After they went to the diner, Laica dragged them all through it, grabbing some pants and shirts for Minatsuki and himself. They were the same height, he figured; they really only needed enough to share. The twins split up and picked out a couple outfits each. Izanami disappeared and then reappeared dressed almost entirely in black.

“The hell is that?” Laica asked, watching her walk up to the front with a giant green jacket. 

“Keeps you warm at night,” she said. It was clearly a men’s jacket, easily came down to her knees. It was a dark army green with wool lining. “Looks cool, too.”

“If you think so.”

“What are you buying?” She asked, looking at his pile. “Polos and sweat pants?”

“I just need to get Minatsuki something to wear.”

“Does he want you to dress him?”

“He puked all over his only set of clothes. He has no choice.”

“At least offer some variety,” she pointed at the rack. “It’s summer. Buy him some shorts.”

**

In the end, Laica returned with:

  * Two pairs of shorts (one longer, one slightly shorter, and he’d been forced to try them both on to make sure they fit. He hoped Minatsuki liked the shorter ones, because they made his thighs look weird. Was that something to care about? He didn’t want to know.)
  * Three plain t shirts, of varying thickness and colours. 
  * Two pairs of jeans, almost indistinguishable from one another.
  * Sweat pants.
  * Two hoodies with various logos on them.
  * A rain jacket.
  * A new hat. 



The hat was Laica’s. Everything else could be shared. He hadn’t wanted to buy shoes because he wasn’t certain if their feet were the same size. 

He came back with a gas station sandwich and a packet of smokes. Somewhere between the gas station and the motel he’d lost both the twins and Izanami, but he had some faith they’d find their way back - eventually.

Laica unlocked the motel room door, and for a minute, he thought Minatsuki had left. His clothes were still in a pile on the bathroom floor. 

“Hello?” He called out. The shower curtain made a metallic scraping sound as Minatsuki pulled it back, revealing he’d been sitting in the bathtub.

“Welcome back,” he said. Laica stopped in his tracks.

He wasn’t sure if Minatsuki’d been drinking any more, but his eyes were ringed red and swollen. Still he smiled at Laica. He looked serene. 

Laica found his footsteps and carefully made his way across the bathroom floor. He crouched down next to the bathtub.

“You got hair everywhere,” he said. Minatsuki’s previously long hair was chopped shoulder-length, ragged, the ends of it scattered in the bathtub and all over his shoulders and thighs. The offending scissors were laying in the soap dish, covered in blond locks. 

“It feels a lot better though,” Minatsuki said. Laica went to brush the loose hairs from his shoulders, and Minatsuki grabbed his wrist, squeezing it. “I’m not even mad anymore. I don’t think.”

Laica’s stomach churned. He gently pulled his arm out of Minatsuki’s grasp. 

“Oh?” He said quietly, standing back up and kicking the filthy clothes on the floor out of his way. “Come here. I brought you clothes.” 

He left the pile on the bed, and changed himself into a pair of clean jeans and a plain blue t-shirt. When he turned around Minatsuki was standing beside the bed, arms crossed over his chest, his hips cocked and knee resting against the bed. He reached down and picked up the pair of shorts, his back stretched out pale in the warm morning light. Laica didn’t look away cause there wasn’t any need to.

It was strange, having previously been so close to to someone they might as well have become you. And now Minatsuki seemed so foreign yet so the same; the anger Laica had tried to quell blooming freely in every movement, as if daring him to try and subdue the other man again. It was a little humbling: even with his power, Laica couldn’t have erased all of him. Not even after more than a decade.

“What else did you buy?” Minatsuki asked. Laica held out the plastic bag with the sandwich.

“For you. I already ate,” he replied. Minatsuki took it out of the bag and sniffed, then pulled out Laica’s cigarettes and a small orange lighter.

“These are yours?” 

“Yes. Thank you.”

Laica took them from him and wandered over to the window, cracking it open just a little. He wasn’t sure if he was  _ allowed  _ to smoke in there, per se, but Laica wasn’t the type of person to really care about being allowed. He fingered the lighter.

“I keep thinking about what you said,” Laica admitted. He opened the pack and offered some to Minatsuki. Minatsuki took one, and gently pried the lighter out of Laica’s fingers.

“About what?”

“About Ross being responsible,” he said. “For shaping me.”

“And how does that feel?”

“It feels wrong,” he paused. “I’m not sure how true that is. I’m not sure I  _ want _ to know.” 

Minatsuki snorted.

“Imagine how I feel.” 

Laica glanced at him. He’d looked so calm since Laica returned from breakfast. Even now he looked near serene, his expression calm. Minatsuki lit his cigarette and passed the lighter back to Laica.

“...How do you feel?” Laica asked quietly, watching him inhale and exhale slowly. 

Minatsuki scratched at his neck.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “Angry and sad. It feels like I’ve been outside of myself ever since we got here. But I’m not sure who I even am, right now.” He paused. “Just because this life wasn’t mine doesn’t mean I didn’t live it.”

The hairs on the back of Laica’s neck stood up, and he felt the breath of the void slipping down his spine. 

“You look ill,” Minatsuki said. Laica shook himself, putting the cigarette back to his lips and inhaling again.

“I just really don’t want to think about it,” he muttered. Absently, his fingers brushed his own neck. 

“Yet here we are,” Minatsuki replied. “And I’m never going to let you forget any of it.”

Minatsuki leaned out the window and stubbed out his cigarette on the side of the building before tossing it into the shrubs under their window. Then he pushed himself off and walked back into the room, running his fingers through his hair. Laica watched him go, unable to look away from the hem of his shorts poking out from under the baggy sweatshirt he’d chosen. 

“I don’t expect you would,” he said, still touching the bruises on his neck. No, Minatsuki was capable of a real anger. But there was something about that - about every burst of emotion - that while it scared him as much as the emptiness, the reality, the  _ futility  _ did, it also kept the void at bay. It was living and full, and he realized then that he envied it. He envied Minatsuki’s reclaimed life. 

Minatsuki shrugged, carefully peeling back the wrapper from the sandwich Laica had brought him. He brought it to his lips and bit down, ripping through the bread and chewing noisily. 

Laica finished his smoke and drew the blinds, leaving the window open to air the room out. It had been so insanely long since he’d slept, and now that the need to move was no longer present, he felt a weariness in his bones he couldn’t describe. He glanced at the single bed, then back at Minatsuki.

“Do you mind if I sleep here?” He asked.

“Where else were you going to?” Minatsuki asked. He sat down on the bed himself, rubbing his eyes.

“I could sleep in the car.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to kill you.”

“You could.”

“I could.”

“Do you think I’d deserve it?”

“Probably,” Minatsuki said. “But right now even though I’m angry and feel betrayed I’m not sure what part of me actually wants to kill you and what part of me just wants you to - “ Minatsuki paused. “I don’t know.”

“You want me to stay, though.”

“I don’t want you to go back to Market Maker,” he said finally. “Maybe one day I’ll go back just to burn it all down.”

His words were serious but he just sounded tired. Finally Laica sat down on the bed, making sure to leave plenty of room.

“You sound like you also need to sleep,” he told Minatsuki. 

**

When Laica woke up it was dark out again. He must’ve slept for twelve hours. Even in the still darkness he could feel eyes watching him - and he jumped until he heard Minatsuki’s even breathing and realized the other man was awake. 

“Did you dream?” Minatsuki asked him. 

Laica sat up. Minatsuki was curled in close, not touching, but he very much could’ve been. All he needed to be was a little closer.

“I don’t remember,” Laica answered truthfully. He wanted to turn on the light but instead he got up and pulled the curtains back because the streetlights weren’t as harsh. He shut the window, too - it didn’t smell like smoke anymore. It was just cold.

When he turned back to the bed Minatsuki was sitting cross legged, playing with the hacked ends of his hair. He really did look so different like this; face scrubbed clean of any markings, hair short, in someone else’s hand me downs. He looked fresh. Newborn. Laica had trouble remembering that this Minatsuki and the one who’d filled his role for so long were the same person.

But the need to protect him hadn’t gone away. Before, maybe, it had been a twisted sort of self-preservation. But even now, with his neck still sore and bruised, his head fogged with exhaustion, a limited supply of cash and a car that they needed to ditch - now more than ever he wanted to see Minatsuki thrive.

Maybe the scripture hadn’t been meant to be fulfilled. Maybe it wasn’t history’s time, and that’s why they were all here; incomplete, imperfect. Carving their own way. It was terrifying, kind of, but it didn’t feel as empty as the void behind him.

“What are you staring at?” Minatsuki asked.

Laica padded softly across the room and back to the bed. He sat down next to Minatsuki and raised his hand.

“Can I touch?” he said, gesturing with his finger to the ends of Minatsuki’s hair.

Minatsuki’s look of confusion was wonderful.

“I suppose?”

Laica didn’t hesitate, carding his fingers through Minatsuki’s long bangs, pushing them back out of his eyes.

“You know, I don’t mind this newer version of you,” he said quietly.

“You don’t resent it?”

“No.”

“It’s liberating.”

“I suppose it is.”

“I’m sorry for choking you,” Minatsuki said. They both blinked at his words.  _ Sorry _ was something saved and not said often - and said even less with any weight behind it.

“I deserved it.” Laica paused. “And honestly, it’s not the worst thing you could’ve done.”

His fingers trailed down Minatsuki’s cheek to cup his chin, rubbing his thumb over Minatsuki’s lower lip. Even trembling, Minatsuki leaned back and bared his neck - so fearless. 

Did he not care if he died? Maybe. Laica felt as though he didn’t. If Minatsuki wanted to straddle his chest and wrap his hands around his neck to finish the job, well, maybe it was just as well. Maybe that would be their new history, their new legend -

Minatsuki’s hands found his throat, and pushed him back down against the pillows. but his touch was light and he quickly settled in Laica’s lap, hands trailing down from his neck to his chest to push up his shirt, fondling the muscle and fat of his stomach. 

Minatsuki shimmied down until he could push Laica’s legs apart and settle between his thighs. He stopped abruptly with a hand on either leg, glancing up at Laica from underneath his bangs. Laica had to laugh; Minatsuki’s eyes were so wide and blue and full of  _ what the fuck am I doing? _

“Don’t worry,” Laica said, reaching down to cup Minatsuki’s cheek. “I’ve also felt it. I’m fine if you are.”

Minatsuki hesitated, his soft, wet tongue poking out to lick his lips.

“I don’t know what we are anymore,” he said. “Or who I am.”

“That’s fine. Neither do I.”

“Do you?” 

“No.” Laica pulled Minatsuki back up to him again, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in, then out. Minatsuki’s hand found his chest and his fingers rubbed little circles over his nipple. “This is the most alive I’ve ever felt. For once I get to follow you.”

It was true. Minatsuki’s sudden mutiny had ripped open a wound and let the void into his life, but his desire to  _ live  _ and breathe all his own kept it at bay. With every impulsive choice Minatsuki made it took them farther and farther away from the world they’d been created for - Koku’s world, maybe. 

His brother. He hadn’t thought about him since Minatsuki attacked him. The longest he’d gone without thinking about killing the black-winged king - and it was  _ liberating. _

But it was very hard to dwell too much on Koku now, because Minatsuki was pulling at the button on Laica’s new jeans, sliding his pants and underwear down his hips. They didn’t have any reason to have hidden their bodies before, but now everything was so new, and when Minatsuki pressed his nose into the dip between Laica’s pelvis and his leg Laica just wanted him to stay there forever.

Minatsuki touched Laica’s cock,bringing it to his mouth to suck gently on the tip. Laica’s hands went to his hair and grabbed on, pulling hard. Minatsuki made a noise halfway between an exclamation of approval and a moan.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Laica breathed, and Minatsuki nodded, using one hand to tuck stray strands of hair behind his ears. Laica took a minute to gather the full length of his blond locks up in his hands, keeping a firm hold as Minatsuki sucked the head of his cock. He couldn’t nod, but he looked up and gave Laica the biggest eyes possible, swallowing so Laica could see the muscles in his throat constrict and relax.

Seeing the muscles in Minatsuki’s throat move drove Laica insane. He tightened his grip on Minatsuki’s head, holding him in place so he could thrust up shallowly into his mouth. Minatsuki tensed his entire body was tense to hold himself in place. He was letting Laica fuck his mouth, the head of his cock shallowly thrusting past his lips and over the tip of his tongue. He sucked, but almost didn’t have to; Laica was eager to tease his lips, force him to dribble saliva down his own chin. 

“Yes,” Laica groaned again.

Minatsuki glanced up, letting Laica’s cock slide over his tongue. Laica looked down at him, face blissed out in a half smile. He used his free hand to caress Minatsuki’s cheek. 

“You look so good,” he mumbled, a shiver running down his spine as Minatsuki’s tongue swiped the head of his cock. “So handsome.“

Minatsuki seemed to love that. He started to sway his hips to demonstrate his approval, moaning onto Laica’s cock and looking up at him from under his lashes. Laica could’ve come right then.

There was something wonderful about how eager Minatsuki was to take his cock. It was a deliberate and lustful action; seeing Minatsuki enjoying himself with a mouthful of Laica was bringing him more happiness than he ever could’ve thought. Laica wanted to roll him over and hold his legs open and slide deep into Minatsuki’s ass. He wanted to fuck him into the mattress and see what he looked like. He wanted to fuck Minatsuki and make him feel good, make him feel worshipped. 

Laica only thought of the void because he could feel it recoil. Instead, in the space it left, Laica could see himself pleasuring Minatsuki, following a half-step behind as the blond man raced for whatever crazy ambition had driven him off the ship and far away from everything they’d ever known. Even with his fists firmly balled in Minatsuki’s hair Laica had never felt so submissive, so humbled, and he  _ loved it.  _

He stopped to pull out out of Minatsuki’s mouth. He tugged on his hair to bring him crawling up his chest. Minatsuki obliged, only whining a little as he pawed on Laica’s now hard and swollen cock. 

“Minatsuki,” Laica whispered softly. “I can make you feel really, really good.” 

And he kissed him. 

Minatsuki gasped softly against Laica’s wet lips. He balled his fists on Laica’s chest and started to knead there. Laica could feel his whole body trembling. They pulled away and Laica felt his chest hum.

“I wanna suck your cock,” Minatsuki said, and Laica nodded, forcing his eyes open. Minatsuki’s face was flushed red; he looked excited and embarrassed and half-drunk.

“Roll onto your back,” Laica said, pushing Minatsuki’s shoulders to guide him. Minatsuki settled against the pillows, letting Laica arrange him as he wanted. Laica propped his head and upper back up, then straddled his chest. He couldn’t resist running both hands through Minatsuki’s hair.

“I’m glad you didn’t cut it all,” Laica whispered. Minatsuki smiled deliriously up at him, letting his mouth hang open in invitation.

Laica took his cock in his hand and, sitting up a little on his knees, guided it into Minatsuki’s warm, waiting mouth. The blond groaned happily as Laica kept his head in place with one hand and put the other to rest on the headboard. He thrust shallowly at first but then Minatsuki’s hands were grabbing at his ass and thighs, pulling him closer, just  _ begging  _ to be choked by his cock and - well, Laica wasn’t going to deny him this much. 

He fucked Minatsuki’s throat so hard the bed shook and knocked the wall behind them. Laica didn’t last long, not this deep inside and not while Minatsuki kept moaning - or, not even moaning, just making these tiny little noises as his throat was fucked raw. Laica didn’t last very long at all.

He tried to pull out, reaching down and tapping Minatsuki’s shoulder to warm him because he just couldn’t think, but all that did was make Minatsuki grab his thighs and pull him in deep. Laica cried so loud he was sure the whole motel must’ve heard it through every thin wall. Minatsuki gagged a little and the sound of him choking rode Laica straight through to the end of his orgasm.

When he pulled out Minatsuki’s eyes were watering, and he coughed, little bits of spit and cum speckling his lips. Laica was shaking but he immediately settled down overtop of Minatsuki, pressing small kisses to his nose and eyelids and cheeks. 

“You did so well,” he practically purred. He felt a shiver run through Minatsuki’s body. Minatsuki turned his back just a little so Laica was forced to curl around him. 

For a moment they just lay there, blinking, a little raw and open. The air was cool on Laica’s exposed thighs, and he didn’t have the mobility to pull his pants back up with Minatsuki pressed back up against him. Instead he fit his arms underneath Minatsuki’s and pressed his hands tight over the other’s chest, listening to the rise and fall of their combined breathing, the thrill of it all. 

Laica imagined somewhere, out there, the world they’d left behind kept on turning, perhaps grinding its gears and gnashing to try and fit the voids they’d left with something new. He felt a warm glow all around him, just behind his eyelids; dull but not so dull that it did not keep his own emptiness away. He’d slept all day but again he felt so tired, and he couldn’t help but press a single, small kiss to Minatsuki’s head. He heard a sigh, and Minatsuki’s hands folded over Laica’s, keeping them close to his chest, right over his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Still from the floor, listening to the Megas]
> 
> Thanks for reading my angsty prelude to what will now be exclusively a found family road trip and trauma recovery for evil superhuman clowns. This author has his whole shitty AU planned out.

**Author's Note:**

> [From the floor] they were just kiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS


End file.
